Saturday, August 25, 2012

BDSM: What Is Subspace?


A man in a suit is blindfolded with his tie as another man also dressed in a suit holds the back of his head and leans down to place his mouth near the blindfolded man’s ear.
This is a fantastic photograph for all the reasons soft-core erotica can be sexy: the narrative exposed by the picture rather than the visual stimulus of the image itself. This picture is great in all the ways artsy-fartsy photographs are not. (And look, no monochrome necessary!)
Another noteworthy point in this image is the use of the man’s suit tie as a blindfold. I own three ties, and though I ostensibly purchased them for work I would much rather use them as sex toys. Many facets of menswear can be extremely useful bondage, ties and belts chief among them.
-maymay
derekisme:
well dressed lovers
BDSM seems to be a popular topic these days, so I thought I'd tackle an often-asked question.

What is subspace? 
Subspace is the mindset a sub sometimes goes into during a scene. It is often described as a floating sensation, as if you are detached from your body. It is a pain-induced high.

What does it feel like? You become loose and relaxed. You stop struggling, because you no longer want to move. It becomes nearly impossible to think or act on your own. Speech becomes difficult or impossible.

When does it happen? Think of subspace like an orgasm. It requires a certain set of physical and psychological stimuli to happen. Subspace requires that you are (1) comfortable (possibly restrained) and (2) being hurt.

(Read more under the cut!)

The psychological side of it: Bondage or sensory deprivation (blindfolds, gags, earplugs) help subspace along. I've found that being given orders also helps. Why? Because it helps you stop thinking. You no longer have to think or act on your own; in fact, you are incapable of thinking or acting on your own. You can't move, and your only interaction with the world is what your Dom/me does to you. Eventually, your brain shuts down. It's this, in combination with the pain and endorphins, that causes subspace.

The physiological side of it: Because of the pain and the threat of injury, your body's flight-or-fight response kicks in. Your body is flooded with endorphins and natural painkillers. Your pain tolerance heightens.

Does it feel good? It's a nice state of being. You can't think. You have someone taking care of you. You can enjoy the moment 100% without worrying about anything at all, because you're incapable of worrying.
But it can also be very, very bad. A sub in subspace is a sub who can't safeword; even if you realize you're being injured and need to stop, speech can be difficult or impossible -- if you can remember your safeword at all.
Make sure your Dom/me is paying attention, and realizes you may be unable to communicate.

Should I experience subspace every session? You can, but you probably won't. It depends on whether you want painplay every session. Some subs may go into it easily, and some may not at all. Subspace isn't really the point of BDSM -- it's just an occasional perk. 

Aftercare: Subspace is worthless state of being. You can't take care of yourself. Being left alone in this state can be both frightening and dangerous. Your Dom/me should remain with you until you are once again fully functional  Cuddling, petting, and hydrating are all appropriate activities during this time.

1 comment:

  1. anyone have pics of men in suits tied up on chair or bedsend to john pineelas@aol.com

    ReplyDelete